Runaway Future


everyone I know goes away in the end

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 23:51

Hi, my name is Kevin and I am addicted to hockey.
……………..Hi Kevin……………
Holy crap, I have watched so much hockey since the playoffs began, it’s insane. Today has been just another great day for hockey. Very fast action, lots of goals, lots of highlights. Wow. If you like hockey, watch some of the Buffalo – Philadelphia series, Buffalo could be going very far. Or check out my favourite Anaheim against Calgary. It’s hard to cheer against a Canadian team, but I’m kinda doing that in the Carolina – Montreal series too.
Truth be told, I’ve watched parts of four different hockey games tonight. I have a problem.

The House of Commons reopened today (well yesterday) after a week and a half off for Easter break and Passover. As it opens again, our still squeeky new Prime Minister Stephen Harper (did you know he’s writing a book on hockey? and they’re making sure everyone knows that so that he appears more human? I digress..) has two huge issues to deal with:

Number one is The Caledonia Land Claim where a building development is trying to take land that was given to the natives by the government and develop it for everyone. Granted the land was sold by the natives…like all things with native rights, it’s a very complicated and often rather hot tempered issue. This is a huge test as always, because it once again opens the can of worms as to the rights of Aboriginal Canadians and where they fit in our nation. It could hurt Harper, like Quebec has hurt so many Liberal PMs before him.

Number two is Canada at war. I don’t think this distinction has been made clear, but Afghanistan is very much our version of Iraq. It’s not as messy, but our troops are taking their hits as well. So far this year, eight Canadian troops have been killed in operations in Afghanistan, while more then two dozen others have been injured. It’s not something that will go away, in fact it looks like it will continue like this for the forseeable future. We’re very much involved in the War on Terror, and I don’t think a lot of people realise that. It’s a good role we’re filling, but not as appreciated as it should be by us back home.

Anyway, we should have a new budget in a couple weeks. This will be Harper’s first show of power as PM, how he’ll begin to shape the nation. An increase to military spending is expected, or at least following the Liberal promise to add another 12 billion into the armed forces coffers over the next five years. My views on the Armed Forces are more Conservative in nature, I think they should have the funding to fill the ideal we have for them as the Peacekeeping Force of the World. I think they should have the necessary supplies and equipment so they can go into places like Afghanistan and Kosovo and be safe.

I feel pressed for time, because it’s late and I want to get ready for bed, even as the Dallas-Colorado game goes to overtime. (oh yes, I’ll be watching it). But as a final note, I’m thinking of throwing my hat in the ring for Liberal leadership, if a Conservative turncoat can, why can’t a punk like me who’s not part of any party? Truth be told, you have to be a little wary, I mean he wanted to be the Conservative leader three years ago, and now he wants to be the Liberal leader? Little eager to get into a position of power…of course, the Green Party’s looking for a leader too now…
And he looks shockingly like Martin Short…that can’t be good.

On Wednesday after work, I leave for a weekend at the cottage with Dad, fishing. I’m looking forward to it. Before then, I hope to call the soccer dude, and maybe some of these apartment numbers. When I come back, I have two days at work, then three days in Wolfvegas for Sport Fair. The week after that is the IKON awards, the week after that I leave for Moncton. Holy shit.
To follow up the whole “figuring myself out” idea, I’m coming to some clarity, which might not help me much, but I feel like I’m on the right track. More on this later, sometime.


Interesting article

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 8:14

I was talking to Chris about this earlier, it’s not lack of subject material, just motivation.

Slate article


I’m too scared to notice

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 22:11

It’s been an interesting few weeks.

The last time I made a “real” entry was right after I met a girl. I didn’t know what to make of her so I kept quiet, though over the past two weeks, I’ve told my tale to many a soul. Last night, we went to dinner.

It went well, extremely well. We talked about family a lot. Our mutual fear of the future and of following what we want to do. Talked about work way too much, then admitted that that was the one thing we didn’t want to do. Can’t be defined by what pays the bills.

At the end of the day, I don’t know where it will go. We were both honest enough with each other to say that anything serious wasn’t in the immediate playbook. She’s dealing with the remnants of a long term relationship that dissipated. I’m dealing with…me. I’ve been letting things get to me and then in an effort to shrug it off, I put up a flippant mask. In the past month, some of my closest friends have called me “a child”, “an ass”, “immature” and I’ve been advised to “grow up sometime”. Eventually, you’d think I’d get the point. But I digress.

She’s at a similar situation, perhaps a little farther down the road then I am, trying to find herself and understand how she approaches the world around her and where she’s going. It was really healing and inspirational to talk with her in length about things like that. This probably is all coming out ridiculous.

It’s comforting to know that other people out there are dealing with similar things as I am, approaching them in similar ways, with the same fallacies and weaknesses and the need for boundries and the uncertainity of dreams and the regret of past lessons.

I think we’re at similar points in our lives, but I don’t think there’s room for either of us in the other’s life. It’s odd, because I’m not saddened by that and I almost expected that I would be. It’s more of an eye-opener of who I am and who I want to be. Maybe I’m just saying all of this aloud to reassure myself, to lie and say I understand.

Earlier this month, I talked with someone about relationships and admitted that it wouldn’t be fair for me to do anything like that right now, because I know I’d bring in baggage, which given my history is frankly quite ridiculous. But I’m beginning to realise all that and work it out. Understand what I’m actually doing and where this train is going. I always have guilt, because I’ve always been told about my potential and what I’m capable of. I mean, any of you reading these words knows that when I apply myself, I can acheive (this is obviously personally focused, but it really applies to all of us). I only ever scratched the surface of that: Leadership Training Camp, the Scholarship Interviews, the Skate Park, sometimes during College,my application to Kings, my job interview. Never consistently, never without feeling there was something left in the tank. Peter Oliver always pushes me towards living up to that.

Right now it’s really an all or nothing situation and for the next two months, we’ll be equally scarce. I leave, she leaves, rinse, repeat. I guess some effort should be made to keep the lines of communication open.

I’d like to see her again, obviously I’m attracted to her and hell, from my babbling, maybe I’ve even fallen for her, like so many others. However, that will have to wait.
And I think I’m ok with that.


Current Poll

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 17:19

Should Maggie return as TSN’s Official Playoff Predictor?

I can’t help but feel half responsible.


Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 12:33

Ok, so I’ve been busy with work, full sprint actually. It’s the cusp of event season and I should not be taking valuable time to type these words.

Anyway, I have a dilemma.
I emailed the Halifax Soccer League about joining this summer. Almost immediately, I had two teams reply. So that’s cool and such, obviously they have no idea of my talent level (if they did, I no doubt would never hear a reply). But now I have to really choose between the teams.
One team wants me to play starting like this week or ASAP. I would play Spring League until the end of May and then Summer League until the middle of August. The team has been a middle of the pack team according to the standings.
The other team wants me to play Summer League with them. They’re also middle of the pack, but better then the first team.

I don’t want to embarass myself which makes me lean towards the first team.
But my schedule is whacko at the moment, so that kinda throws out the Spring League play. Basically, my next six weekends all have something going on. I also don’t think I’m ready to step into the lineup right now and play. I need to do some more running and maybe kick around a ball. So that makes me lean towards the second team.

I’ll probably end up going with the second team, I just feel bad because the first team took the time to call me and all that jazz.

Weekend was fun. I’m not sure if I believe in so many coincidences or fate or what have you. Very peculiar.
I think I messed up my sideburns. Hopefully they don’t look too goofy.
I’m curling in the club championships all week. Easter Bunny at the end of the week. So much work to do.
My current tunes are the Arctic Monkeys and Panic! at the Disco. I like them both and you should too.

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