Runaway Future

I spent today, unshowered and lazy. The TV is showing some movie based on Carlos the Jackal. For some strange reason, I’ve always been casually interested in him and I must have seen a half dozen documentaries on him. I also watched a bit of the Patriots-Colts game, mostly just the ending. I want to get into football. I know and understand enough now to watch a game, I just never have the dedication to sit down and do it. I’d like to though.

I had large plans to work on the website for work that I desperately need to get done before…sometime. I feel this need to get a number of projects systematically set up and done at the office. There’s so much, I just need to roll up my sleeves. My problem is that I am still trying to balance my workload somehow. I know I won’t get recognized for extra work I do at home, but I make plans to do things at home anyway and feel guilty when I don’t do it. It’s a struggle, because taking the laptop home makes it like homework and yet, it all goes back to that shift. Time in lieu is basically useless to me anyway, as I rarely take it off because there’s this feeling that not being there will just come and bite me in the ass again when I do return. So half of me feels bad for not doing work while on my own time, and the other half says I shouldn’t work about it when I’m not on the clock.

Either way, there is plenty of work to do. I spent most of last week cleaning my apartment and organizing things. Not only is everything set up in a comfortable way, but it feels more like a home than ever. Just another step toward cleaning out the clutter that I feel is so prevalent in my life.

I need to write some more stuff for HF sometime soon as well. Plus all the profiles are grossly out of date. So between the website work and the writing, I need some time.

Anyway, over the course of the day, I updated the Blogroll on my website. I cleaned through a number of links that I had bookmarked and found interesting over the past number of months and now, by putting them there, I hope to visit them more regularly, all part of my bid to be more informed of the world around me. One of the more interesting ones that I found was that of Don to Earth. He’s a 93 year old man, living in Toronto, originally from Halifax. He survived the Halifax Explosion. Amazing stuff.

Anyway, have a flip through the list when you get the chance. I think there’s some good stuff there.

Oh you crazy Chicoutimi fans. The same classy folks who treated Ted Nolan, quite possibly one of the friendliest I’ve met in my short time in this crazy industry, as a second class person. Yes, Sags fans were up to some antics again when the Remparts came into town on Friday.

About 50 fans of the home team obstructed the Remparts from boarding their own bus after the game (a 3-2 Sags win in the shootout). So Patrick Roy, who’s the co-owner/coach of the Remparts is on the other side of the little Chicoutimi demonstration line. He gets off the bus and proceeds to get into a shoving match with a Sags official who was sent out to try to disperse the out of line fans. You know what happens next? Assault charges for Monsieur Patrick.

And now? Patrick’s reconsidering his place in junior hockey, both as a coach and as an owner. And he blames the media.

When I was in Moncton for the Mem. Cup, one of the more interesting side stories for me was the French Media. Two languages, two faces, always seem to be plotting. They’re smug, but it is not without reason. They’re cutthroat and at the top of their game. The French language is a beautiful thing and from that beauty, you see that almost stereotypical passion in the French people. The passion overflows, into their writing. I never saw the French Media as reporters, but writers, they knew the story and how to mold it.

Patrick Roy is viewed as both a Saint and a Demon with the province and so with the media. They talk out of both sides of their mouth, on one hand viewing him as heir apparent for the Canadiens GM position when Gainey leaves, on the other scoffing him as all talk and such a big ego and head that he could never hold such a vaunted mantle. He does have a big head and just like the media, there’s two sides to him.

As much as he says he wanted to avoid the media circus, he craves it. The spotlight is him, it always is, he wants it, needs it. At the Memorial Cup, the big story was never Esposito or Bourdon or Ryder or Brule. It was Roy and his comments on everyone else. He prodded, poked, joked and insulted. The media loved him and hated him. Some even went as far as saying it was all an act, to shield his own players from the national spotlight so they could focus on hockey. Either way, the Remparts walked away with the National championship.

Now Roy is saying he is tired with it all and might even be looking for a way out. Alas.

This isn’t the last of St. Patrick.

Tired of being laughed at, Herald Columnist Peter Duffy responds to critics of his midnight bad-touch: LINK

Apparently this thing has gotten a little out of hand (and a lot more attention) then Duffy or the Herald first realised. In fact today’s poll on the Herald website is “Columnist Peter Duffy wrote recently about what he described as a nocturnal visit from a demon. What do you think, is that plausible or ridiculous?” Ridiculous currently has 48% of the vote with Plausible clocking in at 32% and the ever popular and worthless Don’t Know comes in with the remaining 20%.

Who would have thought that anyone would read Duffy’s column in the first place?

My previous entry on this: here.

The blinking cursor, the blank page, the empty stage, the new canvas.

For an artist, this can both be the most intimidating and most freeing symbol of their existance. It signals every ounce of their being and the outlet of their creative soul.

Depending on the tide of inspiration, it can crush you with its girth or bound you within its restrictive barriers. It can be too much, or not enough.

But each is a new challenge, a new battle, a new kingdom to conquer.

It’s now 2007, the next masterpiece begins. Time to dip the quill, grasp the pallette and find my light.

I once read that artists are continuously trying to perfect things in their art, because it never happens in life. In the case of this journal, the perfection in the writing is the imperfections of life.

I’ve spit out most of what I wanted to say in 2006, maybe being off the mark on some things and definitely a lot which didn’t capture exactly what I wanted it to say. I’m currently reading a book called Writing Down the Bones, which is about writing what you mean and trusting your inner voice. I’m about half done it and I must admit that it’s coming off as kind of hokey. I’m not sure if it will ‘free the writer within’ me, but it’s at least somewhat interesting.

So here’s my 2006 year in review.

First off, here’s a link to my 2005 year in review. I wasn’t too bad in what I wanted from 2006. I wanted to join a gym, which I did. I wanted to get further in my writing, which I did. I wanted a new apartment, which I have. I wanted to get some travel done, which I did. I wanted to start to feel more comfortable in my skin, which I do.

The main things I’ll remember from 2006:

The Sloan/Slowcoaster show for Juno week in Halifax. I haven’t seen a lot of live shows, but this was the best I have seen. I also saw Wilco, which was pretty cool as well. I saw Slowcoaster a number of other times and the free concert prior to Juno week. I skipped Keith’s Fest.

K-Murf was pretty amazing actually. Getting friends together and setting loose on Halifax. Hope for better things this year.

The Memorial Cup was a huge experience and parlaying that into season credentials with the Mooseheads is even more incredible.

The new apartment is everything I wanted. I can’t see myself moving anytime soon. Finally somewhere to call my home.

The trip to Buffalo had some trepidation at the start, but was well worth it.

Things I want from 2006

Well first, I’m trying to rededicate myself to the gym. I went pretty consistently until May of last year, and then the Memorial Cup and work really knocked me out of the loop and made it hard for me to get back in. I’m trying to focus on at least going once a week and starting to form some sort of plan to follow.

I’d also like to get back into soccer. I was almost successful last year, but it all fell through in the end. I should try again this time. In the same vein, I want to focus more on curling. I’m only curling once a week right now, but I have been able to improve my game and I want that to continue. Some of the other members at my club are competitively curling, which is something I want to get into soon enough.

Obviously, the natural progression of writing should continue. I’m getting paid for it now and opportunities abound for growth. In reality, it’s at the point where I’ll get as much out of it as I’m willing to put in. The sky is the limit and I could not have imagined this coming to pass when I started so many years ago. Making the most of it all is key.

The same goes for work. The workload will never really get easier or lighten up. So making the most of the time I have and trying to achieve as much I am able to is all I can do. The expectations are there for quite a bit, and while I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to meet every one of them, I am trying.

I like to think I’ve figured out a lot of the questions I’ve had about my own path. I’m a lot more comfortable with where I am in my life and where I’m going. I’ve tried hard to get a lot of things resolved and balanced. So my next goal I guess will be dealing with the loneliness.

I’d like to be a little less materialistic and focus more on my character and my acheivements. Focus more on my writing and doing things instead of having things. I’m at the point where I’m comfortable with what I have and so I should change what I want to more intangible desires.

Along the same lines, I want to cut down on clutter, both physical and otherwise. I do a lot of internal pondering, self-questioning and it’s not always productive. Along the same lines, this new apartment has a lot of stuff in it and getting rid of that which I don’t need is key. I can’t even walk into my storage closet and there’s boxes in my living room again. Cutting down the clutter and organizing the world around me.

I want to get more knowledgeable about that world around me. I’m not always on top of world events and I want to be able to feel more comfortable in what I know. I always remember my time in college where it seemed I was on top of these things more. Although maybe I was just more naive. That of course all goes to the goal of writing more meaningful, sensible posts.

Oh, and I should pick up that trumpet again sometime.