Runaway Future


on the run

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 18:23

so just came back from a run

I had a hat on and I don’t know if you know, but over the past three months, I grew a beard, in fact, in Anchorman, where they say “Great Odin’s beard!” it’s a script error, they actually mean “Great Kevin’s beard” because time-travelers went back to the days of Anchorman to tell them tales of how awesome this beard is.

Anyway, I’m on the final stretch, maybe a kilometer from my house and going at a good clip to finish off and there’s this girl walking towards me. She’s pretty cute and she slows down and gives me a look and this big smile and as I approach, I don’t recognize her and so I’m thinking “what the…” By this point, she’s giving me this look that says “How the hell do you not recognize me?” and she gives me the “how the hell do you now recognize me” wave, you know the one, where she’s holding her hand out and just staring at me.

Then in an instant, her face suddenly changes as she realises that I’m not whoever she thinks I am. At that same moment, I’m thinking “cute girl! score!” slow down and say “Hello” and she says “…hi” and keeps walking.

I’ve got a way with the ladies!


mother nature, that bitch

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 17:28

Last week, I noticed a spider making a web on my balcony.

He had somehow stretched the supporting lines from the balcony above mine to the railing for my balcony, which at a distance of 4 or 5 feet, 8 stories above the ground is no small feat for the little guy. Anyway, having never spent the time to actually watch a spider spin his web, I was enthralled by him tirelessly circling around and around, looping the line over and under. Truly one of nature’s little wonders, I may have watched him for the rest of the afternoon until he was finished if I didn’t have to go back to work.

A freak rain shower happened that afternoon and when I came back to the office, the web was in tatters and my spider friend was no where to be found. Mother Nature is a bitch, or so I thought. Poor guy spent what had to been the better part of a day, showing work ethic I could only wish to have and just like that it was literally all washed away.

A day later, the web and spider were back and now he’s actually relocated it so it’s a bit higher and likely more apt to catch some grub. I’m leaving him be.

As a side note, I don’t like spiders. The usual creepy-crawly-phobia made worse by a giant wolf spider in my sneaker in Grade 9. So making “friends” with this balcony spider is a bit of a step. With that said, he’s totally doing nothing about the stupid ass flies that are frequenting my balcony and now my apartment.

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