Runaway Future

26.7.2011

sigh no more

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 22:06

It strikes me that I never did a ‘year in review’.

It also strikes me that I’ll very shortly be approaching a six year anniversary for this site…this collection of meandering and sometimes incoherent and usually irrelevant thoughts. I’ve been working for the same period of time and oddly enough I’ve had the same apartment and cellphone for almost as long.

That’s a lot of time and strangely for the first time in a long time, the passage of time doesn’t bother me as much.

I’ve spent the first half of my twenties charged with a sense of entitlement and impatience. Not only did I want the entire world, I wanted it now, because, quite frankly, I deserved it. But slowly, I’m finding a bit more peace and balance. Not to say I still don’t suffer from those flaws, but maybe I’m just beginning to be able to manage it better.

I’m slowly but surely watching my friends settle down and buy houses, get married and have children. In response, instead of anxiousness, I’m finding solace in the idea that everything and everyone moves at their own pace. And even that hasn’t been required to become a mantra, just more of an acceptance.

Maybe it’s finally some growing up and maturity. I’m sure that a lot of it had to do with my bout of…darkness? depression? at the beginning of the year and dealing with both the causes before and the fallout since.

I’d like to hope on the cusp of a lot of change, but I’d also like to hope that I’m in the right place mentally for it.

EDIT: Reflecting on this in the morning, I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m giving up or settling or accepting boundaries.

13.7.2011

karma spider

Filed under: The Daily Grind — forbes @ 10:11

Yesterday, I killed a spider in my office. It was the one that I became allies with last Wednesday (as detailed on the nonsensical mish-mash that is my Tumblr account).

Anyway, he violated the terms of our agreement and instead of chilling on the window sill, he opted to walk around on my desk, by my laptop. Not cool.

Today, I’ve noticed an obtuse number of small flies in my office. Not fruit flies, just small annoying flies that apparently are attracted to my laptop screen and dive-bombing my moustache.

These flies have been around for a while (I suspect it has something to do with the fridge in the adjoining office), but they are definitely in full force today.

To make matters worse, an ill-fated foray to the driving range on the weekend has rendered my left hand into something close to, but not exactly the same as, lunch meat.

So every time I try to clap one of these flies to death, it hurts me. A lot.

Somewhere, my old friend, the spider is laughing at me.

Powered by WordPress