It strikes me that I never did a ‘year in review’.
It also strikes me that I’ll very shortly be approaching a six year anniversary for this site…this collection of meandering and sometimes incoherent and usually irrelevant thoughts. I’ve been working for the same period of time and oddly enough I’ve had the same apartment and cellphone for almost as long.
That’s a lot of time and strangely for the first time in a long time, the passage of time doesn’t bother me as much.
I’ve spent the first half of my twenties charged with a sense of entitlement and impatience. Not only did I want the entire world, I wanted it now, because, quite frankly, I deserved it. But slowly, I’m finding a bit more peace and balance. Not to say I still don’t suffer from those flaws, but maybe I’m just beginning to be able to manage it better.
I’m slowly but surely watching my friends settle down and buy houses, get married and have children. In response, instead of anxiousness, I’m finding solace in the idea that everything and everyone moves at their own pace. And even that hasn’t been required to become a mantra, just more of an acceptance.
Maybe it’s finally some growing up and maturity. I’m sure that a lot of it had to do with my bout of…darkness? depression? at the beginning of the year and dealing with both the causes before and the fallout since.
I’d like to hope on the cusp of a lot of change, but I’d also like to hope that I’m in the right place mentally for it.
EDIT: Reflecting on this in the morning, I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m giving up or settling or accepting boundaries.